Yup.

The last two months or so in my life have generally been like a new puppy: very exciting and new, but also rather disobedient. While I've had a lot of fun with the puppy, it also managed to chew up my slippers and piss all over the carpet. You know, the carpet of my life.

If I was to continue this hideous metaphor, I could tell you that I have purchased a choke chain for the puppy, and the puppy is learning some discipline. But instead I'll just say that things in my life are getting consistently more awesome and generally back on track. You'll be seeing more of me on the ol' blog, hopefully with fewer dog-based metaphors (no promises).

2008 has been a wonderful, surprising, and productive year filled with good friends, interesting work, and wonderful comedy. Shit, I'm sounding sappy. That must mean it's time to keep riding the stereotypical year-end train and post a round-up of some of my favorite stuff I wrote in 2008:

• Tales of a Home Shopping Employee
• Gallagher? Seriously?
• 23/6 Posts
• The Trouble with Truffles
• Building a Better Bagel
• Meg & Rob sketches, such as this one:

And if you haven't already, check out the fantastic year-end lists from Philly comedians at Comic vs. Audience. Happy 2009, folks.

A new issue of Table Matters, the food/drink/culture magazine I write for, is up. This week: respecting (and making) English muffins, the Cantankerous Cook complains about mac 'n' cheese, living close enough to Wendy's to smell the Baconator at all hours, spending months to learn to make noodles, and more.

Read it here: Table Matters

TONIGHT at the People's Improv Theater, Rob and I will be performing awesome sketch comedy with The Pippens. 11 p.m., 154 W 29th Street. Get tickets here. IT WILL BE FUN.

But seriously, go vote today. And please, please, make it for Obama.

Also, I have a new 23/6 piece up.

Featuring the grossness of the drinkable bacteria byproduct known as kombucha, a tasting of Zima's demon spawn, the phrase "timz is hard, thighs iz cheap," and much more! Take a look.

1. The Weekend Update guests on this season's third episode of SNL
   
   I'm finally catching up on full Saturday Night Live episodes from this season, and I have to say, almost every sketch on the episode Anna Faris hosted was pretty disappointing. However, the two guests during weekend update, Kristen Wiig as travel writer Judy Grimes and Darrel Hammond as Bill Clinton, were absolutely fantastic:
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. A New York Times blog linked to one of my Table Matters stories
   
   Pretty neat.
   
   
3. Cheese
   
   Seriously though, now that the weather is getting colder, am I the only person who wants to eat warm cheese all of the time? I doubt it.

I've been dropping hints about a big project on this blog, and here it is: Table Matters. We launched yesterday. I'm absolutely thrilled.

From our About page:

Table Matters is an online publication about the intersection of food, drink, and culture from people who dream about lunch during breakfast, dinner during lunch, cocktails during work, dessert during dinner, and breakfast before bedtime. We recognize that food is more than just what we put in our mouths — it's a political statement, a commodity, a status symbol, a declaration of love. It's entertainment, seduction, fantasy. We realize that food is becoming more politicized, more precious, and more divisive than ever. But too many foodies have forgotten that food and drink can (and should) be fun. This is why we get excited when we hear food and drink discussed in news and pop culture. And it's why we celebrate eating an adventurous, gourmet eight-course meal as much as sharing grilled cheese sandwiches with friends.

The site looks a lot more amazing than a screenshot can do justice. Our designer and photographers did a really fantastic job, and we have a lot of wonderful people (and me) writing about everything from terrible Halloween candy to classic cocktails to the awesomeness of fake meat and much, much more. I do hope you'll take a look.

If you missed my appearance on NPR's The Story discussing my experience working in the TV shopping industry, you can catch the episode again today. From The Story's website:

Amidst the economic woes and the billion dollar bailout, will consumers have the confidence to go shopping? Meg Favreau knows exactly what it takes to get people to buy goods. Meg's first job was at a television "home shopping" channel.

See? I'm topical! Anyway, you check out stations that carry the show, and if there isn't one near you, you can find the piece on The Story's website in the next couple of days.

I've been really, really busy the past couple of weeks, hence the lack of updates. I should be unveiling soon what has kept me so busy (it's really awesome!), but for right now, a quick note: I'll be performing stand up Monday night here in Philadelphia at Die Actor Die. Here's the specs straight from the show's (literally) immortal host, Don Montrey:

DIE ACTOR DIE

Featuring: Chip Chantry, Ryan Carrey, Nolan Gilbride, Brendan Kennedy, Boy Meets Tractor, Jon Goff, and Meg Favreau

When: Monday, October 20th
Where: The Khyber (56 S. 2nd Street)
What (Time): 8 PM
How (Much): $5
Why (Should I Come): Because, because, because, because, because! Because of the wonderful things he does. Also, cause we got Drink Specials: $1 PBR and Miller Lites, $2 Lagers and $2 Dead Actors.

In conclusion: I'm excited about this, and you should come.

Back-Cover Book Description for The Grapes of Wrath II: Raisin' Hell

Hey! Here's a video I made with Rob:

Last week was ridiculous. I have a new part-time job (more on that later), and in addition to that, Rob and I probably put in 40 or 50 hours each getting our show together. The payoff was worth it—the shows have been great so far (you should come to one of our upcoming performances). But I'd like to take this opportunity to thank a few of the things that got me through last week:

1. My Bicycle
   
   A couple of years ago, Chris turned the bike my parents bought me in middle school into an awesome frankenbike. It's been a wonderful little citywide transport, and last week it saved me a lot of time by getting me places faster than public transport could.

2. Accidentally Amazing Brownies
   
   I started making he recipe on the back of the Nestle cocoa powder box, but I ended up with this:

   Ingredients

   • 2/3 cup white sugar
   • 1 cup light brown sugar
   • 3/4 cup butter, melted
   • 2 T water
   • 2 large eggs
   • 2 tsp. vanilla extract
   • 1-1/3 cups white whole-wheat flour
   • 3/4 cup baking cocoa
   • 1/2 tsp baking powder
   • 1/4 tsp salt
   • 3/4 cup butterscotch chips

   Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9" x 9" pan. Combine sugar, butter, and water in a large bowl. Stir in eggs and vanilla. Dump blower, cooca, baking powder, and salt on top of liquid mixture and mix the dry ingredients while they float precariously on top of the wet. Then mix them with the wet. Stir in chips. Put in pan. Bake for approximately 25 minutes, or until your desired brownie doneness.

3. The "Day Man" Song from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

   More than anything else, this tiny video clip made me maniacally happy last week. Rob and I kept stopping practice to watch it:

Tags: me comedy video recipe megandrob

I've become a wacky recluse in the past couple of weeks frantically working on the Meg & Rob show for the Philadelphia Fringe Festival. And even though I do miss sleep dearly, I will admit: I am so excited. Rob and I are doing an entirely new show with a lot of sketches that I'm really proud of.

So hey! If you live in Philadelphia, you should come see our show. We're performing at the Adrienne Theatre at the following days/times:

Friday, August 29 at 10:00 p.m.
Sunday, August 31 at 9:00 p.m.
Wednesday, September 3 at 8:30 p.m.
Thursday, September 11 at 8:30 p.m.
Saturday, September 13 at 10:30 p.m.

Buy tickets here!

Plus! Thanks to incredible cosmic forces, Rob and I will be sharing the bill with improv comedy giants Rare Bird Show. I absolutely love these guys—they do wild, excitable improv that's gotten them into a ton of comedy festivals.

Still not convinced? How about I get you a steak? Here's a little preview video Rob and I put together for the show:

I hope to see you there!

I know, I know; I've been bad at updating this blog recently. But I have an excuse: I've been jet-setting. Thanks to my patchwork employment and rugged good looks, I've been to Chicago, Minneapolis, the beach, and New Orleans this summer. Regular posting will commence shortly. For now, here are photos from some of those places, as well as a few from closer to home:

Here's a tip: if you're going to the slots casino in Chester, PA, look up public transportation directions online. Otherwise you might end up getting off at a train station only to discover that you need to walk down the five-inch shoulder of a road appropriately named Industrial Highway where you can see pretty bridges and pray that you don't fall into oncoming traffic. Actually, here's a solution: never go to the slots casino in Chester.

Thankfully, the Broad Street Line Balloon Monster had just eaten a child, and it did not attack me for taking this picture.

Chicago, 3 a.m. This is what happens when you decide not to get a hotel room for the night because your flight is at 6 a.m. We also stayed in a bar until last call and did crosswords in a 24-hour Dunkin' Donuts where Rob was served some of the worst coffee of his life.

It has been a summer of good food. Artichokes at Ansill in Philadelphia.

Filming a sketch and/or auditioning to be an MTV VJ. Oh wait, nevermind. MTV doesn't show music anymore. Phew!

When we visited the Mall of America just outside Minneapolis, the New Kids on the Block played a show. Celebrating a boy band and extreme shopping in one place felt disturbingly patriotic.

Absinthe tasting at the new absinthe museum in New Orleans. JJ Sutherland was interviewing people while I was there. I like the absinthe device in this picture, but I can't get over the fact that it was impossible to photograph without also getting copious crotch. Now maybe you can't get over it either.

Performing at Snubfest in Chicago. I had just shoved a piece of chocolate cake in my mouth. Photo by Bruce DeViller.

Mojo costume at Wizard World Chicago. This very rightly won the costume contest.

Oh, I look calm, but I know the truth: the giant face on the outside of the Guthrie in Minneapolis will kill us all.

Yup.

I know what you've been thinking: "Sure, I can watch Meg's comedy sketches to distract me while I'm at work, or I can play a time-wasting internet game. But isn't there some way to combine the two?"

Yes there is! I recently did some voice-over work for a game on the Discovery Channel's website. Now you can listen to me help you through a puzzle-based murder investigation. The game is called Trace Evidence, and you can go play it right now.

I just got back from a week-long trip to Chicago. Here's a picture:

More shortly.

Hey! Tonight Rob and I are performing a sketch comedy benefit show to raise money for our upcoming trip to the Minnesota Fringe Festival. We'll be performing over an hour of sketch comedy, including old favorites, rare bits, and more!

Sunday, June 22 at 8 p.m.

The Raven Lounge 1718 Sansom Street Philadelphia, PA

Only $5!

I hope to see you there!

Hey! I have a new piece up on 23/6: Senator Obama, I Have Your Vice President.

Also, my mention of The Hills in that piece (a show which I haven't actually seen, shhh), reminded me of this clip I enjoyed a while back that features elderly performers recreating clips from the notoriously shallow show:

I have a new piece up on The Smart Set! This one is about seeing Gallagher and trying to figure out why he's popular. Check it out.

And as a bonus, here's the giant couch video I reference in the article:

I keep forgetting to post this. Rob and I are also performing in the Philly Sketchfest at 10:30 tonight! More info on the Sketchfest's website.

Hey! If you live in Chicago, come out and see Rob and me perform some sweet comedy in Snubfest on Sunday! We'll be performing our two favorite monologues from our "Reviving the Lecture Circuit" show. Here are the specs:

The Best of Snubfest
Sunday, June 8
Chemically Imbalanced Theater
1420 W Irving Park Road
Chicago, IL
Buy tickets

We hope to see you there!

Today and Sunday I'm working at the Wizard World Philadelphia comic convention. I'm pretty excited. I've wanted to go to Wizard World for the past couple of years, but my desire hasn't been enough to make me pay the entrance fee. ($25? When there's only one guest I really want to see? Psh.) But this year I'm going to sell shirts for a few hours and spend the rest of the time wandering. I'm excited.

With that in mind, I would like to leave you this morning with a recent reminder from Lore Sjöberg to all potential comic-convention fedora-wearers:

WARNING: Indiana Jones is a fictional character. His movies are all set decades ago. He is more physically attractive than 98 percent of humanity. These are all reasons you should not attempt to dress like him.

Read Lore's entire fedora warning here.

Occasionally I like to perform the public service of looking at what search terms brought people my website and providing answers to their questions. Today I will tackle this gem: Why can a child smell like pickles?

Here are just a few reasons why a child can smell like pickles:

• The child went on a trip to a pickling plant
• The child dunked him or herself in a jar of brining fluid
• The child purchased or was given a pickle-smelling perfume
• The child recently spent time inside a hamburger-sammich establishment such as McDonald’s or Burger King
• The child replaced all toys with Vlasic Dills and spent the afternoon playing
• Fearful of the looming recession, the child has begun hoarding pickles in preparation for leaner times
• The child joined a pickle-based cult (Warning: do not show the child unpickled cucumbers until he or she has been deprogrammed)
• The child recently ate pickles

Hey ladies! You like not getting arrested for public nudity, right? And fellas! I know you want to have a shirt on so you can get service at your local Subway Sandwich Shop. Well! Here's something you might be interested in: I'm having a big sale of my hand-embroidered shirts over at Gladys Makes Things. I'm doing it to help raise money for my upcoming trip to Snubfest, and all the shirts are between $8 and $15 off. And if you order four postcards, I'll throw in a fifth for free. So start shopping!

I have a new piece up on 23/6 today: Getting the Most Out of Air Travel.

In other news, I'm going to see Gallagher tonight. Lord, please have mercy on my comedic soul.

Last week The Smart Set published my newest feature, "Small Town Cinderella." It's about my hot-and-sweaty, ballgown-wearing summers as an amusement-park employee in northern New Hampshire. Working at an amusement park in high school was awesome. Working as Cinderella sucked.

The top story on Reddit this morning, meanwhile, was the somewhat-similar "Pirate's Booty," a tale about a guy who played Jack Sparrow at one of the Disney parks. I've heard a lot of horror stories about working at Disney, and the article does a nice job at highlighting some of the ridiculous goings-on. Even though the park I worked at was tiny, it's interesting to see the parallels. Like annual/season pass holders—those people are terrifying. I mean, amusement park characters are built around the idea that guests see them once a year. But when guests keep coming back, they expect to see something new from the characters, and there's only so much a character can keep in her bag of tricks.

Anyway, watch out for more former-amusement-park-employee articles soon. I think if it reaches three, it's officially a trend.

Around these parts there have been two words on our lips lately: "Dress Barn."

That's right, Dress Barn. The name that conjures up images of mothers buying floral-print frocks that can only be described as "matronly." The sort of dresses one might wear to play the church organ.

My friend was the one who broke the Dress Barn silence. "I went to Dress Barn," she said. I stared at her. "There was some cute stuff."

I smiled and embraced my friend. She took a risk by telling me that she went inside the Dress Barn. I could have responded by laughing at her, or calling her a "barn shopper." But instead, I was proud of her for having the bravery to break down my stereotypes about the Dress Barn. I learned a valuable lesson: the Dress Barn wasn't where square-shouldered aunts went to get dresses that have little sleeves to cover their arm flab. It was where anyone – be they old or young, rich or having at least $19.95 – could go to buy "some cute stuff."

But while we were discussing this, a more important question came up…where was the barn?

We've all seen Dress Barns in strip malls and Gallerias, but what about the original Dress Barn? It must have been a barn, right? I mean, the first Pizza Hut was a hut, and the subsequent stores followed in that style. Was Dress Barn lying to us? Was there never any barn in the first place, but just box store after box store that adopted the barn name?

The question nagged at me. How could I considering buying "some cute stuff" from a shop that was potentially lying to me? I became so obsessed with my quest for truth that I took thirty seconds to email customer service. This was their reply:

Dear Meg Favreau,

Yes when the first store opened in Connecticut it was actually shaped like a barn it was an existing building that was purchased by Mrs. Jaffee thank you for your interest.

Sincerely,
Your friends at dressbarn

Not only did I discover that the Dress Barn was telling the truth, but I also learned that I have friends at Dress Barn now! I can only assume that they want to be my friend because they respect my quest for the truth. The truth about Dress Barn.

Last night I went to see the Kids in the Hall. It was a wonderful show, and I hung out afterwards to meet the Kids, even though I always feel like a dork when I talk to or see celebrities. Part of the reason I feel like a dork is that I'm never quite sure what I'll do or say. For example, a few hours before the show yesterday, I saw Mark McKinney walking down the street in Philadelphia. I was biking in the opposite direction, but I immediately stopped, got off my bike, and started following him on foot. It took me about a block-and-a-half of tailing him for the part of my brain with good sense to say "You are being a creep" and turn around.

Even though it's embarrassing to admit that story, I don't think what I did was uncommon. People approach famous folks every day, and quite often they do stupid things when talking to those people. For example, I have a friend who, upon meeting Joyce Carol Oates, blurted out, "You don't have any eyebrows!"

Sometimes I'll try to save myself from such bits of verbal dirt by telling myself that I don't need to talk to the person or people in question. But the Kids in the Hall, and Bruce McCulloch in particular, have had a huge influence on both my life and my comedy. So I spoke to Bruce, and when we were done talking I had such a wonderful, glowing feeling. It made me think about a great quote from Wayne Coyne when he was interviewed in The Believer:

What did you want when you met Santa Claus for the first time? You didn't really want to know that he was just some guy who was lucky to have a job being Santa Claus for two months around Christmas time. You wanted it to be the real Santa Claus. And at some point, you and I, we put on a little bit of the Santa Claus costume and go out there and do the show. So I can look at it like, if I met Santa Claus, would I want him to be tired and grumpy and say, "Hey little kid, leave me alone, goddamnit"? I would want him to handle it and let me walk away with that image and that belief still in my mind.

Bruce didn't have any reason to be so nice to me, but I walked away from our conversation feeling like that man cared deeply about my life. It was totally like meeting comedy Santa.

The Smart Set: Disposable

23/6: Supreme Advice and A Museum for America

Comic vs. Audience: Recap: Kids in the Hall at the Keswick Theatre

Do you love nervous laughter? Or are you interested in hearing how much nervous laughter a professional radio show removes in post-production? Then you might be interested in listening to me on the radio! I'm going to be on "The Story with Dick Gordon" this afternoon talking about working in TV shopping. My segment will be airing at 1 p.m. (and again at 8 p.m.) on WUNC (they stream online). Want to listen on a radio but don't live in North Carolina? "The Story" might be carried by a NPR station near you. The piece will also be up on the show's archive page after 4 p.m. today.

Side note: when I went in to the recording studio, they almost accidentally put me on "News & Notes" instead. That would have been interesting.

So far the freelance life has been much busier than I had expected. Which, of course, is great. I've sniffed jars of vaguely scented liquids at a research lab, I've hoofed it around Old City fact-checking scavenger hunt clues, and of course, I've done lots and lots of writing.

That does mean, however, that my blog has gone untouched. Thus I am making five blog posts today, catching up on some old things I have wanted to write about for a while.

This is post number one!

Writing about work on the internet is a bad idea. But writing about work on the internet is what allowed me to quit my job (voluntarily!), so let me tell you about it:

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article for The Smart Set about my time working at QVC. I was rather nervous. Even though I consider the article to be balanced and even complimentary to QVC, I was still terrified that I was going to get hunted down by a pack of lawyers. Corporations are so protective of their identities that I wasn't sure whether something I said might be taken the wrong way. I had visions of waking up in the middle of the night to find that the adult version of the tooth fairy had slipped a cease-and-desist order under my pillow.

Thankfully, that hasn't happened. What has happened is that The Smart Set asked me to write for them every month. And so I gave notice at work today, and when my two weeks are up, I will be striking out in the world as a full-time freelance writer. It's not a new story; lots of people have done the same thing before. But I'm absolutely thrilled.

This is where I give the obligatory mention: if you or anyone you know needs a writer, consider dropping my name. Articles, help at work, whatever. I also have totally sweet marketing experience. You can email me at meg.favreau@gmail.com.

So, yeah. Life's a pretty sweet fruit.

Recently Rob and I chatted with Don "Die Actor Die" Montrey about our work, this weekend's shows, and the State of Comedy Today. I'm really happy with the interview, and maybe you should read it, yeah?

And speaking of those shows!

Meg and Rob: These Modern Worlds

Sketch comedy featuring: Sales pitches, venison cheesesteaks, and a dash of distopian futures.

Friday, March 7 at 8 p.m.
Saturday, March 8 at 10 p.m.

At The Shubin Theatre 407 Bainbridge St. Philadelphia, PA 19147

Both shows are with Traffic Jelly Improv.

$10. Tickets available at the Philly Improv Theater website. Half of the proceeds go to benefit Project H.O.M.E.

Every now and then I like to do the public service of looking at what search terms brought people my website and providing answers to their questions. For example, if you came here searching for "Can chopped up liver move on its own?" (which, incidentally, has happened at least three times now), I'd like to direct you to this post in which I note that your food probably has worms or other dudes hanging out in it.

Today I'd like to tackle "What snack food is most recognized in January?"

January is actually one of the most difficult months to peg with a single most-recognized snack food. A number of factors influence January snacking decisions, including:

• The month-long slide from "diet" to "not diet" as "New Year's resolution" becomes "I miss cheese."
• The ebb and flow of holiday foods, including the wane of gingerbread men at the beginning of the month and the wax of candy hearts at the end.
• Sadness and malaise brought on by Seasonal Affective Disorder, a condition curable by increased exposure to sunlight and/or consuming the traditional medicinal beverage known as "the sauce."

Now then, keeping these factors in mind, let's take a look at some of January's popular snack foods:

• Crackers: They're perfect with dips, cheeses, and overly processed meats. They have enough delicious fat that if you ever actually looked at the recommended serving size, you'd choke on your Chicken-in-a-Biscuit. But are they decadent? Are the indulgent? In the end, crackers lack the sex appeal needed to be January's most-recognized snack food.
• Wings: Despite being a year-round favorite, wings face their greatest challenge in January. With the Super Bowl in early February, too many people will go without wings all January so they taste that much better during the big game. Plus, some people debate whether wings even belong on the snack list in the first place: are they really a snack? Or are they a meal? An appetizer? A disqualification hearing is pending.
• The Apple: This dark-horse candidate is heavily recognized during the first week of the month, but then quickly traded for apple-flavored candy. Is the spike in recognition at the beginning of the month enough to make ol' Granny Smith and her Gala gang the most recognized snack food? Heck nope.

So what then? When you're at a party and someone says, "Quick, what's the most recognized snack food of January?" what do you say to avoid looking like a fool? What is the most recognized snack food of January? Well, I'll tell you:

The Donut: Whether you're getting it "healthy" old-fashioned or sugary sweet, the donut goes well with hot beverages, which people often drink to warm themselves up in the January cold. The donut also has the unique benefit of being acceptable at any meal or snack time of the day. Nachos for breakfast? People think you’re crazy. A sprinkle- and frosting-topped donut? You're as sane as rain. The donut is a classic, and yet, it's so...now.

The donut, like a diamond, is forever.

I'm thrilled to announce that my first post for 23/6, the Huffington Post's version of The Onion, went up today. And! Not only was my piece featured on 23/6, but it also held some valuable real estate on the Huffington Post's front page as well. This was absolutely thrilling, but also a little amusing since some people, presumably those linked off the Post's front page, apparently didn't realize that the piece was written for a humor website. Thus I have received a couple comments correcting the facts of my story highlighting the similarities between the New Hampshire vote recount and the breakdown of Britney Spears. Awesome.

Not For Tourists paid me to write what is essentially fan fiction about the Phillie Phanatic and Swoop the Eagle getting into a brawl.

I got paid to write fan fiction. About mascots. Sometimes my life is pretty fantastic.

Today I was put in the position of needing to make myself a nickname. Or, rather, I sort of suggested that I give myself a nickname. I love the idea of creating your own nickname because it seems like the final frontier of sadness. It makes me think of some poor dweeb who's desperate to be cool, so he creates some name that he thinks sounds bad ass, like "Blade" or "Chip" or "Ray Tracer" and tries to convince people to call him that. For example:

Cool guy: "Hey, Jim."
Jim: "No! I told you before, man! Call me Ray Tracer!"

See? Poor Ray Tracer.

Anyway, my nickname is Day Bat. I chose this for two reasons:

1. It's like a normal bat, but more intense because it might be rabid.
2. It shortens to "Da'Bat."

Obviously.

Some good things going on:

• My piece "Selections From an Anti-Duck Propaganda Pamphlet" is up on The Big Jewel today.
• Fellow Philadelphia comedy person Don Montrey wrote a nice post about me/Meg and Rob on his blog, Die Actor Die. Which, incidentally, is an excellent blog that you should be reading.
• We've got a number of Meg and Rob shows coming up in Philadelphia, including November 19 at Die Actor Die, November 28 at Bedtime Stories, and hosting Puppet Karaoke on December 20. I'll post more information on all of these shows soon.